The Con Page 5
Finishing my beer I'm approached by Dougy for the second time tonight. "Sorry about Jagger. He can be an asshole when he's drunk."
"Don't worry about it," I reply nonchalantly, tossing my empty Solo cup on the ground since it's littered with cups already.
"Parties aren't really your thing, are they?" he asks, tucking his hands in his pockets.
"What gave me away?" I look down at me feet and can't help but cringe when I see how swollen my bad ankle is. I need to get home and rest it.
"Oh, I don't know, maybe the fact that you keep trying to find places to be by yourself."
I smile slightly before looking up at him. He's the only person at this party who's taken any time to get to know me tonight, and he notices a lot. There are so many other girls here, girls that could make this a fun night for him, but he chose to hang out with me. I feel bad for him a little because even if he's a good guy, he'll never get a chance to be my guy.
"I actually have a really bad headache. I think I'm going to get going." I push myself off the siding to stand up straight.
"I can walk you if you want?"
"No, I'm good, Dougy. Thanks anyway." I take a few steps forward and wrap my arms around him to hug him goodbye. His chest is firm, just like his biceps, and he smells like pine needles and sweat. I let go of him just as quickly, not wanting to give him the wrong idea. "I'll see you around."
I push my way through the crowd of people, no one really noticing me as they grind and dry hump their partners to the beat of My Love by Justin Timberlake. When I reach the street I start walking home, my limp a little more noticeable because of how swollen my ankle is. I take Spruce to where it meets Evergreen and then make a left, before passing the entrance to Juniper and then quickly approaching my street.
"Hey! Wait up!"
I stop walking and turn around to see Jagger jogging over to me. When he reaches me his hands fall to his knees as he tries to catch his breath–a side effect from smoking, I'm sure.
"Did you need something?" I ask
"I thought I'd walk you home."
I look over to my street and spot my trailer just five houses down and I laugh. "I'm already almost home."
He shrugs his shoulders. "Still, I want to walk you home."
It's really sweet of him to offer, but I'm still unreasonably angry from earlier. "Won't your girlfriend get jealous?" Lola seems like the jealous type given the way she glared at me during the party.
"I've told you before, I don't do the girlfriend thing."
His words should be a giant red flag, a flashing DANGER sign, or yellow caution tape, but instead they make my insides fill with joy that Lola doesn't have any claim on him.
"Okay, you can walk me."
The short distance home is walked in silence. The air has a bit of a chill to it from cooling down in the desert night, but it's still warm enough to be comfortable. When we walk up my concrete driveway he takes the three steps with me to my front door. The chimes on the wind chime creating a soothing music in the soft wind.
I turn to face him, planning to thank him for being a gentleman and walking me home.
"It was sweet of you to take me home. Thank you."
His eyes are focused on my breasts before he looks up and clears his throat. "No problem."
I know I shouldn't get so much pleasure and enjoyment over Jagger's appreciation of my body, but I do. "Did you... I mean... Do you want to come in for a little bit? My sister's gone for the night."
I don't know why I just told him that. It sounded like an invitation for something more than just coming inside and that wasn't my intention. At least, I don't think it was.
His eyes light up and he takes a step forward. "I'd love to come inside." He's somehow able to make his words sound dirty.
Walking through the front door of my trailer, I flick the switch to my right that turns on the lights to both the front room and kitchen. I hear the door shut behind me and I know Jagger's followed me in, so instead of turning around I walk into the kitchen to get us both something to drink. Opening the fridge door I bend over and see there's very little to offer him.
"Are you thirsty? I have soda, and lemonade I made yesterday."
I wait for his response but instead feel him come up behind me, placing his hands on my hips. I'm startled and snap up to a standing position before turning around in his grip. His eyelids are hooded as he stares down at my mouth. His tongue darts out to lick a slow trail across his bottom lip. "I know I shouldn't but I want you, twinkle toes."
My heart stops. It literally feels like my heart stops because it's hard for me to take my next breath. A few seconds later it starts back up again and I'm able to breathe, my lips parting to inhale a deep breath as I try to process his confession.
His hands slide up my sides until he's teasing the side of my breasts and then his fingers trail back down. When they meet my hips and the small space of exposed skin between where the bottom of my tank and the top of my skirt should meet, he wraps them around my backside until he's cupping my ass. He pulls me into him and I can feel his erection against my lower stomach.
My hands begin to shake and my legs tremble at his proximity. I'm either going to pass out or come just from him touching me. I'm not sure which.
"I've wanted you for so long, twinkle toes, but I've stayed away." His lips come down to meet mine in a firm kiss. Our mouths dance together in a slow embrace. Then his lips move away from mine and he's brushing them against my cheek before trailing kisses down my neck. My head falls back as I groan out in pleasure, cherishing every second of attention he's giving my body and submitting to his touch.
"Why?" My voice trembles as the question leaves my lips.
"Because I'm no good for you," he whispers against my delicate skin before his lips come back up to meet mine.
We stop talking and let our bodies say the words. By the time Jagger's carried me to my bed I'm completely naked and he's taking off his last piece of clothing.
We make love in my bed. It's quick, it's messy, and for a brief moment it hurts like hell as he breaks through my innocence, but it's also the most beautiful moment I've ever had with another human being.
I've dreamt about this day, wishing and hoping Jagger would be the one I'd give my virginity to, and my wish came true.
When we finish we collapse on the bed covered in sweat. I cuddle in his arms, comforted by his warm embrace and the smell of smoke and Jagger's deodorant. He kisses the top of my head over and over again as one of his fingers trail up and down my bare arm that's lying flat against his chest. We don't speak. We don't have to. Both of us know the significance of what just happened between us.
I don't know when I finally fall asleep, but I know it happens while Jagger softly hums a beautiful melody in my ear. When I wake up the next morning I'm alone in the bed.
Jagger is gone.
Chapter Six
Three years later
As I sit inside the gym in my high school and listen to our class valedictorian give his speech about the bright futures we all have ahead of us, I can't wait for this ceremony to be over. Somehow I was able to get through the last three years at this awful public school without suffering too much damage, and thankfully I had Leah with me to get me through any difficulties.
Our graduating class of one hundred and twelve students fills the floor of the gym as our family and loved ones sit in the rusty old bleachers to watch us as we transition to adulthood.
It's all a bunch of crap. Most of us have lived like adults for a long time now, coming from where we do, so the speaker's words are just that, words. I look over to my left, my eyes scanning the faces in the bleachers until I spot my sister, Pearl, up at the top. After finishing her bachelor’s degree, Pearl now commutes back and forth to Phoenix as she works on her doctorate. She wants to be a pediatric doctor and I'm so proud of her... and I'm also a little envious.
Pearl should be the one we're here celebrating. She worked her ass off to make enough mon
ey to support us, and then went to school at night. She's actually doing something with her life, while I'm just biding my time until I figure out what I want to do next.
I once had dreams and goals ahead of me. I was attending one of the most prestigious Performing Arts schools in the country, I was going to be a principal dancer at a dance company in New York all while attending college and getting a degree. Now I'm just an average student, graduating from an average high school, who wastes her free time hanging in the trailer park with other kids who have no ambition in life.
Next to Pearl is my boyfriend, Dougy. He was never my first choice, or even someone I thought of as an option in the boyfriend department. After my night with Jagger I truly believed I was starting a relationship with him, but that never happened and I soon found out just how naive I was when it came to him.
I cried myself to sleep for months after we slept together, while listening to Fifteen by Taylor Swift.
I started dating Dougy a few months after Angelo's party. I no longer had dance consuming my life so I started hanging out with Leah more and the other kids in the neighborhood. Dougy pursued me, constantly showering me with attention, while Jagger acted as though I was a diseased animal on the side of the road that he discarded and never wanted to see again. He ignored me completely, while I was forced to watch him flirt with other girls. After some time went by, and a lot of crying in the privacy of my own room, I finally gave up on Jagger and gave in to Dougy's attention, agreeing to go out with him and hoping it would spark some interest or jealousy from Jagger.
Okay, so maybe I didn't completely give up on the idea of us.
But my plan backfired because Jagger didn't give a shit about what I did or who I was dating. That night I gave him my virginity he was probably already planning his next conquest.
Dougy's dark brown eyes fall on mine and then he smiles at me, his hand rising to give me a thumb up. He dressed up for my graduation, wearing a dress shirt and tie. I'm sure he's as bored as I am. School isn't really his scene. He barely graduated two years ago and now he works at one of the warehouses just outside of town. He works hard but earns very little money in return.
He's a good guy, really, he is. He treats me well, he's decent in bed, and he's loyal. He may make crude jokes and ogle other women when I'm around, but he's never strayed. I've tried to make it work over the years, but as hard as I try, I'm not in love with him. I don't think love is something a person should try hard at having happen. It's either there or it's not, and with Dougy and me it's not there.
I've wanted to break up with him for some time now, but I chicken out every time an opportunity presents itself. I think it's because I don't want to break his heart. But last night I decided that if I want to get serious about my life I have to start being honest with myself, and everyone in my life. I have to break up with Dougy.
He's still watching me so I smile back at him before facing forward to bring my focus back on the ceremony, but I'm nudged in the ribs from the annoying friend on my right.
"This is such a snooze fest. I don't see why we have to sit through this thing. They could have just handed us our diplomas on the last day of school and then we wouldn't have to sit here," Leah complains from the seat next to me.
"I think they're trying to prepare us for the dull adult lives we have ahead of us, Leah."
"Your life may be dull, but my life is going to be filled with sex, boys, more sex, and more boys. Crying out in ecstasy from multiple orgasms is anything but dull." I ignore my sexually adventurous friend and continue to listen to the speaker in front of us.
Leah's been the closest thing I've had to a best friend these past three years. Once I stopped going to the Performing Arts school, Monique and I drifted apart. Leah was there to pick up the pieces. She listened to me whine for weeks after Jagger and I slept together. While she tolerates my relationship with Dougy, she was very happy when I ran over to her trailer last night and told her I wanted to break up with him.
"What are you thinking about, Ronnie?"
"Nothing. I agree with you about one thing though, this ceremony is a snooze fest."
"Not the multiple guys and hot, hot sex?"
"No, Leah."
"Why not? You're going to be single soon. It's time to taste other flavors out there. You've had vanilla, and now you need to try cinnamon, mint, and chocolate."
"I'm good, but thanks."
"All right. Well, if you don't want to talk about sex, I've got some gossip to entertain you. Do you want to hear it?"
"What's the latest drama in the Evergreen's now? I swear our trailer park could have its own reality show."
Leah turns her body toward me, not caring at all that anyone who might look over at us would see that we're not paying attention to the ceremony.
"Jagger dumped Lola last night."
"What?" I ask shocked, my voice coming out a lot louder than I wanted it to. I look around the gymnasium to see if I caused a scene but thankfully no one is looking at me.
"Yeah, I guess Lola went over to Angelo's to cry on his shoulder after Jagger dumped her, giving him the sob story. He was all too willing to comfort her, if you know what I mean." Leah makes an indecent noise and wiggles her eyebrows.
"It won't last," I sigh out. "Jagger will be back with her by the end of the week."
"Maybe, but even when they're together, they're not really together. Jagger likes to plant his seed in any willing woman he can find."
My face goes pale as I stare ahead, trying not to let her words offend me because a few years ago I was that willing woman.
Leah's expression changes to remorse. "Oh, Ronnie, I didn't mean you. You're not an easy lay. You love Jagger and I know he doesn't look at you like just some piece of ass."
"It's okay, Leah. You were just telling the truth."
"Yes, but I was also being insensitive. And you know what? If Jagger was stupid enough to let a catch like you get away, then his skanky ass doesn't deserve you. You could do a lot better."
Tilting my head in her direction I smile weakly. "Thanks, Leah."
The ceremony lasts for another thirty minutes, they call our names and we walk up to get our diplomas and then it's over. I've graduated. The whole thing is very anticlimactic.
Pearl comes over in her cream-colored dress and black heels, her brown hair in a twist on top of her head.
"I'm proud of you, little sis. You did it."
"Thanks, Pearl," I say, smiling at her before embracing her in my arms with a tight hug. Then she's gone–off to work before starting another week of medical school.
Now it's just Dougy and me in the ten-year-old Dodge Dakota he spent all his money on. I left my cap and gown at the school and am dressed in a black sundress with a pink floral design and green leaves. Black flats are on my feet because my ankle is too weak to ever wear heels again. My long red hair is down and styled in loose curls. The only make-up I'm wearing is mascara and Chap Stick.
Dougy starts his truck and then loosens the blue tie around his neck, before pulling it over his head and tossing it under his seat. He undoes the top two buttons of his white dress shirt and then with one hand on the wheel and his other hand on my thigh, he peels out of the high school parking lot and hits the road.
"What do you want to do, babe?"
That's a good question with so many possible answers. I want some direction in my life. I want a life plan. I want to find a career that will make me feel fulfilled. I want to dance again. I want to be able to break up with Dougy and still somehow maintain our friendship.
"I don't know," I reply desolately, because I'm pretty sure Dougy was asking me what I wanted to do today, not what I want to do with the rest of my life.
His hand drifts up my leg and under my dress before giving my thigh a squeeze. "I've got to stop at Kellerman's to talk to Jagger but then we can go out and celebrate."
That's just great. Today's yet another day I'm forced to see Jagger. Another day he's an asshole to me and ano
ther day a tiny piece of my heart breaks off, never to be repaired. Why does everyone in this shitty town have to be involved with Jagger in some way, shape, or form?
"Okay." I really have no other choice but to go along with him to Kellerman's Auto Shop. Dropping me off at home first would never be an option.
Several minutes later we pull up to the auto shop, the parking lot mostly empty. A tow truck, along with Jagger's car and two other vehicles I don't recognize are parked near the entrance. We exit Dougy's truck and walk through the front door of the shop, quickly making our way to the back break room where a few guys are sitting around a table and focused on a hand of poker. I recognize Angelo and Ky right away, and next to Ky is Jagger.
Jagger's long brown hair is pulled back as he stares intensely at the man across the table from him. I watch as the other men at the table fold and it's just Jagger and the large man across from him. Jagger has a large stack of chips in front of him, more chips than anyone else at the table and the room is silent.
I'm not sure what happens next, mostly because I'm shit at poker, but they lay their cards out and Jagger takes all the chips in the center of the table.
Dougy breaks the silence in the room. "Jagger, you got a second?"
"I'll be right there," he replies, his eyes never leaving his opponent at the table. "I'm out, boys. Time to pay up."
Dougy takes my hand in his and I follow him out of the room and through the shop until we're outside again, never looking back to see if Jagger follows us. Pulling my hand out of his grip, he turns around to face me and it's just the two of us outside.
"I thought you needed to talk to Jagger?" I ask, confused on why we're leaving.
"I do. We'll wait for him here, babe." His hands dig into the pockets of his Dickies as we wait out in the heat. It's a Sunday so the shop is closed for the day, but the air was on inside so I really wish we could have enjoyed it for a few more minutes.