The Road To Forgiveness Read online

  “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. I was just getting a few things and leaving. I promise to be out of your way in a minute.”

  I hurry into the back bedroom to grab my things that are in Jonathon’s closest. A few seconds later he walks in behind me.

  “I’m sorry, baby girl. I wasn’t planning on that happening out on the couch but you know how it is. One thing led to another and I wasn’t even thinking of the possibility of you walking in the door. I was letting my little head do the thinking, oh, you know what I mean.”

  My body trembles at the image of what my best friend implies.

  “I can’t think of you intimately, so stop putting the images in my head.”

  “You’re such a prude.”

  I gasp in mock horror of his implication, “I am not.”

  He giggles, “You’re right, you used to be a prude. Sebastian changed that the minute you met him.”

  I ignore his comment as I continue to gather my things.

  “Where are you off to? Not that I am complaining because I really would hate to do the whole ‘you should stay and have dinner with us act’. The reality is, I want the apartment to myself so I can get some action.”

  “I’m going to be staying with Sebastian for a little while. I’m going to give him a shot, I guess. Apparently its what him and Charlie call compromise.”

  He looks over at me concerned, “Are you sure that’s a good idea? Last time we talked you didn’t want to see him again.”

  I look over at my friend and realize how lucky I am to have him in my life. He is always looking out for me. I give him a hug and a squeeze before letting go.

  “I’m not sure what is a good idea anymore but I’m going to give it a try. The one thing I’ve learned in the last day is that I need to start living again. I don’t know how to do that but I think this might be the first step.”

  “I’m happy for you, Mia. I’m glad you’re trying to heal and this is the first step. You go, spend some time with Sebastian, and keep me close. I want to hear all about it, whatever you decide.”

  “Sounds good. Now walk me out before you continue with… whatever that was I witnessed in the living room.”

  I leave Jonathon’s place and head back to Sebastian’s hotel. I took the day to think about what I was going to do. In the end, I’m happy and hopeful about the decision I made. Maybe this will work out. The only downside is the request Sebastian made that I go to therapy, but I’ll try anything to stop the guilt I feel everyday.

  I pull up to the hotel and park Jonathon’s car. I unload my bags from the trunk and head in to the hotel. I instantly spot one of the luggage carts and place my thing on there. It’s not like I have a lot to carry but I’m feeling fatigued and the nausea is back.

  I go up to Sebastian’s room and knock on the door.

  “Here we go, “ I whisper to myself.

  He opens the door and pulls me in, leaving my luggage cart out in the hallway. His arms come around me and he hugs me tight to him while kissing my hair.

  “I thought you left me, again,” He whispers into my hair.

  His arms feel like home to me as I lift my arms to hold him around his waist and hug him back.

  “I wouldn’t leave without telling you. Not this time.”

  I lift my head to look him in the eyes and before I can say anything his lips are on mine. He kisses me hungrily, like a man starving. It takes me a second to process what’s happening before I’m kissing him back, just as hungrily.

  It’s in this moment that I realize how much I missed him today. I want to spend my days with him, I want to come home with him at night, and I want to be with him. I suddenly feel complete and I know I made the right decision in giving him a chance. Maybe this will be the start of the rest of our lives or maybe this will be the closure we both need. Either way, it will be a decision we make together.

  Sebastian is in just a pair of sweatpants. His chest is bare and I can feel every muscle on his glorious chest. His arms hold me tighter and I’m reminded of what a strong man he is inside and out. I want to show him I’m here to stay. I want to show him how much I’ve missed him this past month.

  I break the kiss and drop down to my knees. I’m now level with his growing erection. My hands grabbed the waistband of his sweats and I lower them. I’m met with his strong, hard cock. I lick my lips in anticipation of finally having him in my mouth.

  My hand moves up to touch his length. Sebastian lets out a deep moan as I start to stroke him.

  “Mia... you don’t… have to do this,” he says huskily to me.

  His voice turns me on even more. I lower my mouth and lick the head of his cock. He tastes magnificent and I want more. My tongue starts to circle the head of cock as I lick a small amount of his juices from the tip.

  His hands become more urgent as he looks down at me with hooded eyes. His hand grasps the hair behind my head as he pulls me impossibly closer to his length. I open my mouth and surround his cock with my lips as I start to suck the head of his cock in my mouth. My hand starts to pump in rhythm with my mouth. He tastes so good and watching Sebastian come undone is the best aphrodisiac.

  Sebastian starts to loose control as he starts to pump into my mouth. He goes deeper with every thrust and I moan at the sensation of him filling me.

  “Yes, baby, that’s it. Suck me clean. Make me come in your mouth. I want you to suck down every last drop.”

  Sebastian closes his eyes as his head drops back. I can feel my nipples harden and and my panties getting wet. I could come just by the sound of his husky, demanding voice.

  I take my free hand and grab his ass as Sebastian continues to thrust inside me.

  “I’m coming for you, baby. Open wide.”

  With those words I feel the beginning of his release shoot down my throat. It taste salty and like Sebastian. I take all of it. Sucking and licking until he has nothing left to give.

  After he releases inside me, he is still hard and ready to go. He lifts me up and carries me to the bedroom. He lays me down on the bed and within seconds I am completely naked and underneath him. He kisses me softly and whispers in my ear.

  “So are you agreeing to my compromise? Are we going to try and make this work?”

  His hand drifts down until he is slowly stroking my clit. He sucks on the skin below my ear and I can feel my body overheating.

  “Yes… Yes… Yes… It’s a yes,” I whisper but partly scream as I can feel my release start to build with every stroke of his thumb.

  “You won’t regret it, honey. I’m going to make this work,’ he says as he slowly sucks on my earlobe. “But first, I’m going to fuck you, so slow. I’m going to build you up until you feel like you’re going to explode, until you turn your body completely over to me.”

  Before I can process it, he spreads my legs open and thrusts inside me. Then he holds true to his promise. He takes me so incredibly slow and with every thrust, my pussy trembles. When we finish there is no questioning who owns my body.

  Chapter Eight

  I wake up to the feel of Sebastian’s chest pressed against my back. His lips are on my neck, his legs are tangled with mine, and his hard length is resting against my ass cheeks. It’s the most wonderful feeling in the world.

  I feel a bit bipolar. My emotions and actions have been so up and down in regards to him. I wish I could blame it all on the pregnancy hormones, but I’d be lying if I did. I’ve been this way from the moment I met him. It’s not my hormones, it’s Sebastian. He makes me absolutely crazy in the most delicious way. I crave him even though I don’t want to. I want control over our interactions, but I want him to control me. I want to be the one making the decisions but deep down inside, I know Sebastian is the one in the driver’s seat, making all the calls.

  His hands come around my body to tease my breasts. I can feel my body awakening even before I’ve opened my eyes. His right hand lowers; trailing a path down my body until he places it on the place I want him the most. He cups me brie
fly before spreading my lips with his fingers. His thumb brushes against my clit and my body lets out a spasm.

  “Sebastian,” I moan out as he pushes two fingers inside me.

  Almost instantly I feel my release start to build. He has me at a constant state of arousal. His lips move to my ear as he sucks on the skin below my earlobe.

  “Let go, baby,” he says huskily and my body instantly obeys.

  My hands grip the sheets tightly as I scream my release. His hands continue to pump inside me until I start to come down from my orgasm. That might be a record for the fastest I have ever come.

  Sebastian pulls his fingers out of my pussy and lifts them to my lips.

  “Suck yourself off of me. I want to see you loose yourself in desire,” he says in a commanding voice.

  I hesitate. I want to do this for him but I can’t imagine liking what he is suggesting.

  Sebastian senses this and before I can explain he make the decision for me. He moves his fingers to his mouth and sucks my release off his fingers.

  “As always, you taste delicious.”

  He turns me to him and kisses me briefly on the lips before getting up out of bed.

  “Where are you going?”

  “I’m going to use the washroom, then I’m going to order breakfast from room service. We will eat in bed since you are supposed to be on bed rest, and then we are going to talk. I’ve had four weeks to think about everything and I believe communication between us is the key to us working out in the end.”

  With that he turns around and enters the bathroom. I stretch my body out. I’m sore in all the right places. It seems my body has missed Sebastian, too! Luckily, we’ve made up for it the past couple days.

  I can do this.

  I can make a relationship with Sebastian work. For the first time in weeks I’m entertaining the idea of a life with Sebastian. Living together, working together, and raising a baby together.

  Sebastian comes back to bed and we snuggle together under the covers. I’m just enjoying the feels of his arms around me. His presence calms me.

  “Breakfast should be here in fifteen minutes.”

  “Uh huh,” I say sleepily.

  I feel his chest start to move in a silent laugh. “I wore you out last night, didn’t I?”

  I nod my head into his chest, to tired to speak.

  “Go back to sleep. I ordered a spread of fresh fruit and bagels so you don’t have to worry about your food getting cold.

  I don’t say anything as I burrow my head closer to his chest. Within moments I am drifting off to sleep.

  *****

  I wake up in an empty bed. I can hear the soft sound of the television playing in the other room. I get up and put one of Sebastian’s t-shirts on before walking into the next room. Sebastian is drinking his coffee while reading the newspaper. He is dressed casually again today in Khaki pants and navy fitted t-shirt. His hair is damp from just taking a shower and he sits on the sofa with one of his legs propped up on his knee.

  He hears me come in and looks up from his paper. A smile spreads across his face.

  “Hello there, sleeping beauty. I was about to go wake you up.”

  I walk over to him and place a kiss on his forehead. His hands come up and grip my hips to keep me in place.

  “You look different today. Almost lighter, happier,” I say to him as my hand comes up to touch his lips.

  “I am happier. I have you back. There is nothing that could make me feel better than that.” He kisses my fingers and then slaps me gently on the butt. “Go eat something and then we’ll talk.”

  I squeal a little bit and then mockingly salute him with a, “Yes, Sir.”

  For the first time in my life I’m in a playful mood. I feel good about that.

  I walk over to the room service cart and start piling fruit and an onion bagel on my plate. I spread strawberry cream cheese on my bagel and sit down next to Sebastian. The local news is on but he isn’t paying much attention to it.

  “Do you mind if I change the channel?”

  He looks up from his paper and grins at me. “You don’t want to know about what’s happening in the world? Okay, change the channel. Go watch some meaningless television where you can find out about what Kim Kardasian’s favorite restaurant is or who Robert Pattinson is dating now. The war in the middle east, gas prices sky rocketing, and changes to the U.S. Constitution can wait.”

  I refuse to feed into his teasing so I grab the remote. “Thank you.”

  I’m about to change the channel when the newscaster’s words have me glued to the television.

  “Today the State’s prosecution team will be meeting with the law team that represents defendant, Kyle Monroe, in one of the highest rape profile cases the state of Georgia has ever seen. Kyle Monroe is currently serving a 20-year sentence for raping at least seven women in Atlanta, almost five years ago. Monroe was found guilty of these charges but his law team recently filed an appeal with the court, claiming they have new evidence to show Monroe’s innocence. The meetings that are being held today are to determine if the evidence is substantial enough to go back to trial. We will keep you updated with the latest breaking news on this case.

  “In other news, a string of house invasions is starting to worry the residents of Savannah- ”

  I turn the television off as I feel Sebastian’s arms wrap around me.

  “You okay?”

  Was I okay? This case has nothing directly to do with me but I can’t help but feel like this is a part of Kyle’s penance for what he did to me. Knowing there is a chance he can walk free makes me sick to my stomach. I want to lie and tell Sebastian I’m fine but I wouldn’t do that. If I’m trying to give us a real chance, then I have to be completely honest with him.

  “It hurts to see that he might walk away from this but I’m going to work on being okay with it. I can’t let him rule over my life forever.”

  He kisses my cheek softly as he skims his nose up the side of my face.

  “You’re magnificent, you know that? So beautiful, so strong, and mine. I’m the luckiest bastard alive because I have you with me right now.”

  I turn in his arms to face him.

  “You wanted to talk, so lets talk. I’m willing to try and make this work. This next month can be our trial month,” I hesitate before I say what’s next. “I’m willing to go to… counseling… therapy… whatever the hell it’s called but it’s not a guarantee. In a month, I might still decide I can’t do this. I want you to be prepared for that.”

  I glide my hands up his strong biceps and rest them on his shoulders. “I also want you to know that I love you and I want this to work. I’m going to try my best not to run. It’s my first instinct, the only thing I’m really good at but I’ll try, for you I’ll try.”

  He kisses me briefly on the lips before pulling away. “You’re good at a lot of things, Mia. I’m going to do my best and show you that.”

  I nuzzle my head into his neck; seeking the warmth I always feel when I’m close to him.

  “So you’re not mad at me? You forgive me for running and leaving you?”

  His hand slowly caresses up and down my back in a soothing pattern.

  “I’m not mad at you, Honey. I was never mad at you. I just didn’t understand and now, I’m starting to. I’m going to help you get through this so we can move forward, together. I love you, Mia. Whenever you feel the urge to run, remember that. “

  I hold him for a few more minutes, never wanting to let go. Sadly, we can’t stay in this room forever.

  “Do you want to go see my mother?” I ask him.

  “That would be nice. You’ll have to be careful though. You’re supposed to be resting the next two weeks. I was thinking we could look into making your first appointment with a therapist today. I did some research while you were gone yesterday. A friend of mine has a buddy who is a therapist. His practice is about an hour away from here. Unless you want to go back to Miami. I know of some wonderful therapi
sts down there.”

  “Do you know of these therapists first hand?” I ask jokingly. Sebastian takes me by surprise when he nods his head.

  “When your parents are filthy rich and can’t spend a lot of time with you, they send you to therapy instead. At least, that’s what my parents did. The first few years I took it as a complete joke. I’m surprised my therapist stuck with me. I was waiting for him to tell my parents he wouldn’t work with me anymore. I was horrible to him.

  “Then, around the time I was fifteen, I started opening up to him. I don’t know what changed all of a sudden, but I knew it felt good to talk to him. I was a very angry kid and held a lot of resentment towards my parents. He helped me work though that and I established a better relationship with them. It wasn’t great. I still wish my Dad and I got along better before he died, but it was a far cry from the kid who wouldn’t even acknowledge their presence.”

  “I’m sorry, I had no idea.”

  “How could you? I’ve never shared this with you before. My relationship with my mother is a lot better now. We don’t get to see each other very often because she lives in Europe, but I speak with her on the phone often.”

  “I’m glad to hear that,” I say as I get up from the sofa.

  I collect my cup and dish and place it back on the room service cart. I’m suddenly self-conscious of Sebastian watching me.

  “Lets make a few phone calls and get an appointment set up. Worst case scenario, it doesn’t work and I stay a messed up individual who you are helplessly in love with.”

  Sebastian stands and walks over to me while placing his hands on my hips. “That would be fine with me. I’ll take you in whatever form I can get you.”

  I smile up at him. I can’t help thinking how incredibly lucky I am that he loves me. That after everything I’ve put him through, he wants to stick by me. I hope I don’t let him down.